"Why are you so skinny?"

Recently I've taken notice of the growing amount of controversy spreading throughout social networking, general media as well as society, towards weight, appearance and aesthetics. 

Let me start off by saying that I'm just about 5'3", and weigh just over 7st. For those of you who use metric measurements, that's around 1.60m, and around 44/45kg. According to my GP, this falls into the "underweight" category if you're calculating BMI. However, this does not necessarily suggest that I am unhealthy, or "too skinny".  I have a fairly petite body build, and my weight and height support that. Stilllll waiting for that growth spurt most people got at 12. 

Before I get too far in, let me also just point out that most of this does not apply to people close to me or family members! I am aware that if you're telling me to eat more and you know me well, you're genuinely concerned about my health :-))

Throughout most of my childhood, and the majority of my teenage years (given that I am currently sixteen) I have been fairly regularly condemned, and occasionally complimented on my weight and body build. "You're too skinny" "Put some meat on you" and "You need to eat up" are phrases that I've heard somewhat persistently over the last ten years or so. Having people poke and prod your belly in order to get onto saying "there's nothing of ya!"  when you say you don't want to eat something is not my idea of ideal. My issue is that you would very rarely hear somebody say things along the lines of "You're too fat", "Stop eating so much" and "Lose some weight already" to somebody whom is branded "overweight", due to not only the fact that it's common etiquette to avoid doing so, but it is also more often than not extremely hurtful and unpleasant to hear- so what makes it okay to say things of a similar context to somebody who perhaps falls into the contrary side of the spectrum?

Nothing, happens to be the answer there. 

Due to the fact that I've never been overweight therefore lacking experience with the matter, I can only speak for myself, and perhaps women, men or anybody in between, who also happen or have happened, to encounter the same issues as me. I do not intend on everybody- or maybe even anybody at all agreeing with me, however this topic has been on my mind in abundance lately therefore I figured "What better way to address it than to publish it on the internet amongst the very people whom I may be blogging about?" 

There have been countless occasions where even now, whilst getting changed for P.E. or wearing a bodycon dress people whom very often I do not even talk to on a daily basis would go out of their way to walk up to me and look at me with eyes wide in disbelief whilst saying the words "Oh my God you're so skinny!". What does one even say to such statement? I'm aware that I'm slim, and unless you are clearly complimenting me (I am not shaking off any compliments here, to any of you who have managed to compliment me on my weight or physique thank you very much, you guys have no idea how big a difference you make), it makes me feel uncomfortable. You would not simply walk over to somebody and say "Oh my God you're so fat!" whilst they're in the middle of getting changed, would you? I hope not. It makes a huge difference to say "Your body is so good, your figure is so slim!" than "Oh my God you're so skinny" the same way that it does saying "Wow your curves look amazing!" as opposed to "Wow you're fat!" to somebody who may be fuller in your eyes.

Those of you who know me will know that up until very recently, I have eaten whenever I like, and whatever I like. As of late this has altered slightly due to the fact that I am generally slightly concerned about my health, not because I am unhappy with my body. This is mostly because I enjoy junk food, eg Pizza, burgers, crisps chips and sweeties much more than I probably should, as a consequence of having a super fast metabolism! For those of you who are unfamiliar with the term "metabolism", it is the process of chemical reactions breaking down compounds and nutrients such as fats and minerals in order to give us energy. This naturally means that I do not put on weight due to fat storage as easily as somebody with a slow metabolism may (which by the way I consider a blessing, so long as I don't take advantage of it), therefore eating very fatty, cholesterol heightening foods, as well as generally not maintaining a balanced diet used to be a regular to me as I would not put on any significant weight, therefore I wouldn't see any harm being done. If you can't see it, it's not there, right!? 

Wrong. Eating an unbalanced diet can lead to various complications and threats, however that's a whole other issue. My point here is that, I in no context have an eating disorder, nor did I used to eat particularly well; my diet is not necessarily the reflection of my weight. Telling me to "eat up" and forcing food that I genuinely do not want is not going to make much of a difference on my weight, it'll only make me feel uncomfortable and slightly hurt. 

Luckily I happen to have grown very happy with my body and weight, therefore these sorts of comments do not tend to affect me a plentiful amount, but nevertheless they are certainly not pleasant. Don't get me wrong, none of this is to say that telling someone that they look "so slim" or even "thin" are negative points, but my objective here is to make you realise that the way you tell somebody anything, especially something about a characteristic, whether it's physical cerebral or emotional, is key. The words you use, for example skinny and slim, as well as your tone of voice, can amend your statement from a compliment to a criticism or insult and vice versa.

However, I have certainly not always been particularly happy with my body or the way I look. It is generally typical that the average "overweight" kid in primary school will be picked on, called names and embarrassed by having to get changed for P.E. in front of the rest of the class. This doesn't differ greatly from what a lot of thinner children experience, being "skin and bones". Quite thankfully I was lucky enough to have other things to worry about at the time, therefore on a good day I'd tell myself that the people saying it are just immature and inconsiderate, however on a bad day I would return home and look at my body, wishing I would put on at least a little bit of weight, enough so that you couldn't see my ribs. Not because I didn't like them in the first place, but because nobody else did. This can very quickly change the way you perceive yourself.

When I turned 13 I started taking the contraceptive pill. This was not due to anything to do with having, or rather lacking a sex life, but due to health issues. Pretty much instantly I began filling in anything that puberty had not yet got around to doing- I gained quite a generous bum, boobies and hips (especially for my size). I also managed to magically start putting on weight! I was still not what one would call "fat" however I did struggle shedding the weight and this was very frightening to me as I had only just grown used to loving my slim physique, and quickly I began putting on fat where I'd never had it before- legs, belly, face; you name it! This very quickly pushed me all the way back to square one. Looking back I was certainly not fat and at one point or another this would have been a miracle; however every day I would compare myself to girls slimmer than me and hate what I saw in the mirror- not because I have anything against fuller people, but because I was not used to it. I was frightened by this new image which I managed to create of myself, and the fact that I had only just grown to love my slim body made this all the worse. This leads me to be able to get a sneak peek not only into why some people may develop eating disorders as well as negative body image, but also invites me into seeing why people may judge others negatively on their body. 

Another thing which I have noticed recently is that in order to destigmatise people who are overweight, there have been numerous photos, tweets and Facebook updates around, saying that "nobody likes collar bones and ribs" and that "bones are for dogs, meat is for men"- as well as photos comparing slim women, such as Eva Herzigova to fuller, "curvier" women such as Tara Laughton, usually saying things like "like for Tara, share for Eva", with hundreds of thousands of likes and only a few hundred shares. Once again, a post like this addressing the opposite issue would be insulting, so what makes anybody in their right mind think that posts like this are acceptable when criticising slimmer women; especially openly on social networking. Things like this can really put somebody down, especially if they are being criticised by general public. Both fuller women as well as slimmer women have the potential to be beautiful, and without sounding awfully trite, it's what is in your heart that matters, and somebody who cannot see past your weight is somebody whom is not worth your time. That's not to say that if you are merely obese or have an eating disorder and are malnutritioned somebody may jump to infer that you do not look after yourself and are not concerned about body image, but each has one's own opinion and preference as well as a different perspective on people.

And just for the account, men and women go for whoever they like- there is no particular norm as to whom they are into. If you have a foot fetish and like to fantasise over toes; there is guaranteed to be somebody out there for you on Craigslist (haha). 

Finally, just to clear up, I do not intend on saying that overweight or fuller people have it easier, worse or similar to those who are underweight or slimmer; both are two different issues that happen to very briefly fall into the same category and spectrum, and due to the fact that I only have secondhand experience in people who are overweight or "bigger", I can only talk about my own experiences without being biased. I just wanted to address the fact that all women are beautiful and aesthetics should not be judged as severely as they tend to be. Pressures from the media have without a shadow of a doubt put a crazy amount of oppression on general public such as you or myself, however this does not in turn mean that slimmer women should be affronted in order to make being curvy the norm. Unless you're at a health risk, all bodies are beautiful, whether you are a man, a woman, a transvestite, a teenager or a godparent. 

And if you cannot bring yourself to genuinely think this, then have your opinion planted in your mind but don't speak it publicly. Of course this is a free country and all but the minute that you open your mouth in order to say something potentially hurtful it all becomes extremely treacherous. The chances are that you do not know this person's story, and very quickly any criticism could lead do something fatal. Of course we have all said nasty things about people, and there is no denying that, however it is important to think about what you say unless you purposefully want to hurt somebody, which suggests more about you than what somebody's weight does about them.

This post has dragged on an awful lot and gone on a lot of tangents, but I feel as though slowly this issue is being addressed more and more especially by Bloggers, YouTubers and celebrities, therefore I wanted to jump in on the bandwagon and share my experiences with you in order to shine light on something a little taboo.